I'm currently re-reading Eat That Frog! by Brian Tracy. While the information contained in the book certainly isn't new or earth-shattering, it is a well written look at how to stop procrastinating and getting your priorities in order.
I'm reading each chapter (the book is only 128 pages - a very quick read) and really putting some thought into how the principles apply to my life. I'm finding my daily to-do list getting longer and longer and I'm procrastinating more and more. To the point of avoiding what are probably the most important tasks in my life...
In the Introduction, we are introduced to The Three D's of New Habit Formation. It states, "You need three key qualities to develop the habits of focus and concentration, which are all learnable. They are decision, discipline, and determination. First, make a decision to develop the habit of task completion. Second, discipline yourself to practice the principles you are about to learn over and over until they become automatic. And third, back everything you do with determination until the habit is locked in and becomes a permanent part of your personality."
These "Three D's" really strike a chord with me right now in my life. As you all know, I'm struggling greatly with resuming my weight-loss journey. (I'm trying to look at the fact that we are unable to do an IVF cycle right now as an opportunity to continue my weight loss journey. Some days I believe that having no money right now is a good thing because it allows me time to continue to lose weight and get healthier. Other days, not so much.) So often on my journey, people ask me what motivates me. I've blogged before about Motivation, and while getting pregnant should be my motivator, I still stand behind the idea that determination is what keeps me moving forward (with the occasional backslide - hey, I'm only human).
I came home from work today and wanted so badly to lay on the couch and nap. Then I remembered reading about "The Three D's", and I decided I would go to the gym instead. I decided I would keep going until it becomes automatic again. I. Am. Determined. I recognize I will struggle some days. I recognize I am not perfect. I recognize each day I will have to make decisions and follow through with determination. (Even when I would rather lay on the couch.)
Finally, I recognize that I have come so far, and I simply cannot allow myself to go back to where I was.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Setting goals...
This has been One. Hard. Month. I really thought (shame on me) that the return of daily routine would automatically bring with it the return of a fitness/food routine. Boy, was I wrong. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I need to work hard to regain my momentum. How the heck did I lose the weight I did? I feel like I have no idea where to begin again. Not to mention that it makes me so sad to think about "starting again" when I really should have never "stopped".
I feel like I have no time to exercise or plan like I used to. I'm tired and am feeling a lot of stress with work. I feel like I'm spread too thin. But, no way can I allow myself to continue backsliding like I am. I'm tired of watching the scale go up. I'm tired of feeling out of control.
The following quote really struck a chord with me - "If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else."
his week's goals are:
1. I will schedule in gym time for the week. This week is extremely busy, but I can't keep making excuses. I need to get back to prioritizing, and that means making time for ME. There was a time, not that long ago, where I would not let anything get in the way of my gym time. My goal this week is three trips to the gym. I will also contemplate setting a new fitness goal (perhaps another 5K). I also plan on revisiting a book I bought after reading about it on another blog (but I never actually read it), The New Rules of Lifting for Women.
2. I will plan what I will make and eat the next few days. (I will focus on portion control and the healthy guidelines that WW maps out.)
3. I will visit some of my favorite WW-friendly food sites to plan out some upcoming meals.
4. I will get back to tracking my food this week.
5. I will one again ban soda, and I will limit my wine consumption (honestly tracking the points for each glass I have).
6. I will reread my WW Week 1 book to refocus my mind to the task at hand and give me a new member mentality in an effort to motivate me to get back on track.
7. I will create some sort of accountability system for myself. On pinterest, I saw an idea where someone put $1 in a jar every time they worked out and set a goal that they would do something fun when it reached a certain amount. I'm thinking of doing that, and adding in $5 for every pound I lose. I'm thinking that would help motivate me as all that money could hopefully go towards a future IVF cycle.
8. I will spend some time on weightwatchers.com reading success stories and looking for some motivation.
9. I will remind myself daily that I did this before, and I can do it again.
10. I will re-enlist the help/support of friends to keep me on track.
I know for me it is a constant mind game. I need to be stronger in my mind and keep my ultimate goal in the forefront of my mind. I've also seen people write goals on post it notes and hang them in places visible to them daily. I'm thinking about writing down my weight on a post it note each week and hanging it on the fridge. I'm also thinking of finding and writing out a motivational quote each week to focus on.
The bottom line is, I CAN do this. I WILL do this. I've not given up, and that is the greatest gift I've ever given to myself.
I feel like I have no time to exercise or plan like I used to. I'm tired and am feeling a lot of stress with work. I feel like I'm spread too thin. But, no way can I allow myself to continue backsliding like I am. I'm tired of watching the scale go up. I'm tired of feeling out of control.
The following quote really struck a chord with me - "If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else."
his week's goals are:
1. I will schedule in gym time for the week. This week is extremely busy, but I can't keep making excuses. I need to get back to prioritizing, and that means making time for ME. There was a time, not that long ago, where I would not let anything get in the way of my gym time. My goal this week is three trips to the gym. I will also contemplate setting a new fitness goal (perhaps another 5K). I also plan on revisiting a book I bought after reading about it on another blog (but I never actually read it), The New Rules of Lifting for Women.
2. I will plan what I will make and eat the next few days. (I will focus on portion control and the healthy guidelines that WW maps out.)
3. I will visit some of my favorite WW-friendly food sites to plan out some upcoming meals.
4. I will get back to tracking my food this week.
5. I will one again ban soda, and I will limit my wine consumption (honestly tracking the points for each glass I have).
6. I will reread my WW Week 1 book to refocus my mind to the task at hand and give me a new member mentality in an effort to motivate me to get back on track.
7. I will create some sort of accountability system for myself. On pinterest, I saw an idea where someone put $1 in a jar every time they worked out and set a goal that they would do something fun when it reached a certain amount. I'm thinking of doing that, and adding in $5 for every pound I lose. I'm thinking that would help motivate me as all that money could hopefully go towards a future IVF cycle.
8. I will spend some time on weightwatchers.com reading success stories and looking for some motivation.
9. I will remind myself daily that I did this before, and I can do it again.
10. I will re-enlist the help/support of friends to keep me on track.
I know for me it is a constant mind game. I need to be stronger in my mind and keep my ultimate goal in the forefront of my mind. I've also seen people write goals on post it notes and hang them in places visible to them daily. I'm thinking about writing down my weight on a post it note each week and hanging it on the fridge. I'm also thinking of finding and writing out a motivational quote each week to focus on.
The bottom line is, I CAN do this. I WILL do this. I've not given up, and that is the greatest gift I've ever given to myself.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Mish mash...
Last week, I returned to work. I'm an 8th grade special education teacher. This year, in addition to my 8th grade consultant teaching and resource room teaching duties, I am also teaching AIS ELA for 7th grade and AIS Math for 6th and 7th grade. (AIS stands for Academic Intervention Services.) In no way am I unhappy that I am teaching AIS, however, I am frustrated that I wasn't notified until the day before school started that I was teaching it. Especially given it is 6th and 7th grade. I have no resources for AIS, and am scrambling daily to keep my head above water. I enjoy my job (the part that actually includes working with the kids, that is), but feel like this year I am not being given the support to be successful at it. I know I'm not the only teacher in my building and/or district who feels this way. This is especially frustrating given that teachers are being evaluated by a new system this year, affectionately known as APPR. This new teacher evaluation system is a major sticking point in the current Chicago teachers strike. I will refrain from climbing on my soapbox and discussing my personal feelings about APPR today. Maybe in a future post...
Last Tuesday, while at work, Dr. Vitek from Rochester called. She said the team met (their clinic doctors work as a team and discuss every case to form a plan), and that they all agreed IVF is our best option. However, she did say, given our insurance coverage, that she could repeat the HSG test to check the right tube. She said sometimes tubes spasm during the test. It can't hurt. My insurance will cover it. If on the off chance the tube isn't blocked, we could use our two remaining injectable/IUI cycles covered by insurance. If those don't work, we will have stockpiled some more meds for an IVF cycle. My meds start expiring in the early part of next year, so I am hoping we can figure this all out by then. So, I will call with the start of my next period and schedule the HSG (which will occur between days 5 and 12 of my cycle). If my cycle remains 28 days as it has been the past several months (before this last IUI), I should expect my period towards the end of next week. I am not going into the test hoping for an unblocked tube; I am really doing it more for peace of mind and confirmation.
Returning to work last week brought with it a return to a routine. I've learned that I need routine in my life to be successful with my weight loss goals. This summer was especially hard. No routine = no weight loss. In fact, I gained. I'm ashamed to admit that, but there is no way around it. When I weighed in last week, I was up 12.4 pounds. That is how EASY it is for me to gain weight. 12.4 pounds since June 12th. 12.4 pounds in 12 weeks. So, in essence, I gained about a pound a week this summer. No bueno! When I weighed in last night, after one week back on plan, I was down 6.4 pounds!!! So, 6 more pounds to go to get to pre-summer weight. I HATE having to re-lose weight I've already lost. My short-term goal is to lose 7 more pounds by the end of September so I can enter the 220's! (I'm not sure if I ever admitted what my starting weight was on here. I guess now is as good a time as ever. My starting weight, right after my IVF failed in January, was 280.6 pounds. I cringe when I think back to that weight.
I'm going to share a picture I never thought I'd share on my blog. This picture is actually two pictures side by side - my school picture from September 2011 on the left, and my new license picture from August 2012 on the right. I can't believe the difference I see between the two pictures. When I look at myself everyday, it isn't easy to see a difference. But, after looking at these pictures, WOW!!
Lots of people at work, who haven't seen me all summer, are complimenting me on how I look. At first, it made me feel a little uncomfortable. Now, I LOVE it! Why not take credit where credit is due?! I worked HARD to lose the weight I've lost and I feel good about it. Now, I just have to keep it up!
Oh, how could I forget to mention that I signed up for an adult Hip Hop class at a local dance studio?! The class is on Tuesday nights from 7:30-8:30. Last night was the first class, and all I can say about it is that it was HARD. My friends Phoebe and Elisabete (who I met at Infertility Support Group in 2010) are doing the class as well. I can imagine some of the questions people have....
1. No, I have NEVER danced before.
2. Yes, there is a recital in June.
3. Yes, I will be participating in the recital.
4. Yes, there will be costumes and I will wear one!
As always, thanks for checking in!
Last Tuesday, while at work, Dr. Vitek from Rochester called. She said the team met (their clinic doctors work as a team and discuss every case to form a plan), and that they all agreed IVF is our best option. However, she did say, given our insurance coverage, that she could repeat the HSG test to check the right tube. She said sometimes tubes spasm during the test. It can't hurt. My insurance will cover it. If on the off chance the tube isn't blocked, we could use our two remaining injectable/IUI cycles covered by insurance. If those don't work, we will have stockpiled some more meds for an IVF cycle. My meds start expiring in the early part of next year, so I am hoping we can figure this all out by then. So, I will call with the start of my next period and schedule the HSG (which will occur between days 5 and 12 of my cycle). If my cycle remains 28 days as it has been the past several months (before this last IUI), I should expect my period towards the end of next week. I am not going into the test hoping for an unblocked tube; I am really doing it more for peace of mind and confirmation.
Returning to work last week brought with it a return to a routine. I've learned that I need routine in my life to be successful with my weight loss goals. This summer was especially hard. No routine = no weight loss. In fact, I gained. I'm ashamed to admit that, but there is no way around it. When I weighed in last week, I was up 12.4 pounds. That is how EASY it is for me to gain weight. 12.4 pounds since June 12th. 12.4 pounds in 12 weeks. So, in essence, I gained about a pound a week this summer. No bueno! When I weighed in last night, after one week back on plan, I was down 6.4 pounds!!! So, 6 more pounds to go to get to pre-summer weight. I HATE having to re-lose weight I've already lost. My short-term goal is to lose 7 more pounds by the end of September so I can enter the 220's! (I'm not sure if I ever admitted what my starting weight was on here. I guess now is as good a time as ever. My starting weight, right after my IVF failed in January, was 280.6 pounds. I cringe when I think back to that weight.
I'm going to share a picture I never thought I'd share on my blog. This picture is actually two pictures side by side - my school picture from September 2011 on the left, and my new license picture from August 2012 on the right. I can't believe the difference I see between the two pictures. When I look at myself everyday, it isn't easy to see a difference. But, after looking at these pictures, WOW!!
Lots of people at work, who haven't seen me all summer, are complimenting me on how I look. At first, it made me feel a little uncomfortable. Now, I LOVE it! Why not take credit where credit is due?! I worked HARD to lose the weight I've lost and I feel good about it. Now, I just have to keep it up!
Oh, how could I forget to mention that I signed up for an adult Hip Hop class at a local dance studio?! The class is on Tuesday nights from 7:30-8:30. Last night was the first class, and all I can say about it is that it was HARD. My friends Phoebe and Elisabete (who I met at Infertility Support Group in 2010) are doing the class as well. I can imagine some of the questions people have....
1. No, I have NEVER danced before.
2. Yes, there is a recital in June.
3. Yes, I will be participating in the recital.
4. Yes, there will be costumes and I will wear one!
As always, thanks for checking in!
Monday, September 3, 2012
Closet Purging...
This morning, I took on the dreaded task of weeding/purging/organizing my closet. 5 hours later, 106 empty hangers, and 10, yes 10, thirty-gallon trash bags filled to the max , I'm happy to report I'm finished! I got rid of all my too-big, outdated and/or worn out clothes. I said goodbye to some of my favorites, but created space for some new favorites! I feel I could weed out a few more pieces, but for now, I feel good about what I accomplished! My new rule - when something comes in, something goes out!
Some pictures of my project....
Some pictures of my project....
Before
Before
Clothes to get rid of...
106 empty hangers....
Shane isn't as excited as I am about this project!
AFTER!!
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