What appears to be the end may really be a new beginning. I am currently transitioning from actively trying to conceive to learning to live childfree. I will find the silver lining...
How do you decide when enough is enough when you are talking about the one thing you want most in life?! Please, someone have an answer for me. I simply don't know how to make this decision.
For me, I had to have one more try.... and our latest try was at CCRM in CO. We just found out this past week that it worked after being told by our local clinic that my chances are those of a 40 year old (I'm 32). LOVE CCRM!!!
Jen, I'm sorry. And this sucks. But unfortunately, I know I can't tell you what to do, and I don't think anyone will be able to. No one understands, no one can fathom what you and your husband are going through. That's the realization that I came to. No matter what advice my mother or best friend gave...They really didn't know. In my experience, infertility quietly drive the largest wedge between my husband and I and made me feel completely worthless...as a wife, as a friend, as a daughter, as an employee, as a person. Worst part is that I was so consumed with ttc that neither of us really noticed it. When faced with IVF with ccs vs adoption and knowing the costs associated, I think I lost my mind. I finally decided that what I was doing was not working so something else had to be done (definition of insanity, right)?? The absolute best thing I have done over the past 5 years is taking a year off. We agreed to not make any decisions until 2013. Hardest thing to do, taking into account my age and everything I've read...but I was able to truly focus on me. I feel empowered and proud and our marriage is growing stronger daily. I could share so much more. Bottom line is that, your answer is in you. You are a strong and wonderful woman and I know that you will find the strength to listen to your heart. Figure out what you need and pursue it.
I 100% agree with the comment above. It's a choice that only you can make, but for me, anytime I had to make an IF decision, I always made it after asking myself 'what can I live with?' I didn't want to put myself in a situation where the unknown if something would forever eat away at me.
For me, I had to have one more try.... and our latest try was at CCRM in CO. We just found out this past week that it worked after being told by our local clinic that my chances are those of a 40 year old (I'm 32). LOVE CCRM!!!
ReplyDeleteJen, I'm sorry. And this sucks. But unfortunately, I know I can't tell you what to do, and I don't think anyone will be able to. No one understands, no one can fathom what you and your husband are going through. That's the realization that I came to. No matter what advice my mother or best friend gave...They really didn't know.
ReplyDeleteIn my experience, infertility quietly drive the largest wedge between my husband and I and made me feel completely worthless...as a wife, as a friend, as a daughter, as an employee, as a person. Worst part is that I was so consumed with ttc that neither of us really noticed it.
When faced with IVF with ccs vs adoption and knowing the costs associated, I think I lost my mind. I finally decided that what I was doing was not working so something else had to be done (definition of insanity, right)??
The absolute best thing I have done over the past 5 years is taking a year off. We agreed to not make any decisions until 2013. Hardest thing to do, taking into account my age and everything I've read...but I was able to truly focus on me. I feel empowered and proud and our marriage is growing stronger daily. I could share so much more.
Bottom line is that, your answer is in you. You are a strong and wonderful woman and I know that you will find the strength to listen to your heart. Figure out what you need and pursue it.
I 100% agree with the comment above. It's a choice that only you can make, but for me, anytime I had to make an IF decision, I always made it after asking myself 'what can I live with?' I didn't want to put myself in a situation where the unknown if something would forever eat away at me.
ReplyDelete