Standing on a line...

Tomorrow morning I have a consult back in Buffalo with Dr. G. (He is new to Buffalo. He came from Strong Fertility in Rochester.) I'm hoping Dr. G will restore my faith in Buffalo.

Why am I returning to Buffalo? 1. I called Rochester three times asking for a return phone call to answer some questions I had and I never received a call back. 2. If we were to cycle again, Buffalo is 30 minutes away versus the 60 minute ride to Rochester. I would have to take half days off from work to travel back and forth from Rochester for monitoring and that would burn up a ton of my very limited sick time. 3. If we were to do another IVF in Buffalo, I believe we would still qualify for the second cycle rate.

I have to put my pride and anger with Buffalo behind me. At this point, I just want to get pregnant. I don't care where or how. I am not expecting a different recommendation, but I am hoping Dr. G will give a shit that we've been at this for so long now and will genuinely want to help. 38 months spent in Buffalo with no baby to show for our time there. Dr. Crickard told me in August he was "embarrassed" that we had been there so long and they had not gotten us a viable pregnancy. Immediately after saying that, he handed me the lupron trigger, told me a nurse would be in with instructions, and he left the room. I never saw or heard from him again. He knew that cycle was a bust. But, I was just another widget on the Buffalo IVF conveyor belt. I desperately need some compassion and someone who cares.

I don't know if we will be able to cycle again, but these past few months of not knowing what the future would bring is boding well for me, physically or emotionally. I need to have a plan in place. I need to know what will come next. I'm not ready to give up. Not now. Not yet.