Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Kissing Ovaries...

We had our IUI this morning. It went well. While my husband's sample wasn't as "abundant" as it has been in the past due to spillage during collection, the motility was still right in the range it always is. 67% motility.

I started the Estrace (estrogen) this morning and will take it twice a day. I start the PIO (progesterone in oil) injections in the morning. Once again, my dear friend Lori is administering that injection because it seems my husband may never get over his fear of needles.

The ultrasound right before the procedure revealed that my ovaries are so full that they are "kissing". When I heard the nurse say "kissing ovaries", naturally I laughed out loud. After composing myself, I pictured my ovaries strolling hand in hand through the park, sharing a special, intimate kiss. Sweet and innocent, no?! Well, unfortunately having kissing ovaries isn't as sweet as it sounds. It is painful. I want my ovaries to be back where they belong, baking and releasing eggs in their own, separate areas of my abdomen.

I go back for blood work to check my progesterone level next Tuesday, and hCg (pregnancy) bloodwork Wednesday, August 22nd. Fingers crossed!

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Lupron trigger and IUI....

I had my ultrasound and blood work this morning. All of my 30+ follicles are continuing to grow. In an effort to save this cycle from being canceled and preventing OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome), we will trigger with Lupron tonight and go for an IUI Tuesday morning. We are triggering and moving forward with IUI despite the high chance of multiples. (It is likely I will ovulate 6-8 mature eggs from my right side Tuesday.)

From what I understand, lupron works by suppressing the pituitary gland's ability to produce LH, which causes ovulation. So why would I use this for ovulation if it suppresses ovulation? It has to do with lowering the risk of developing OHSS. In a natural ovulation cycle using no drugs, the follicle develops over about 2 weeks, and then a strong surge in LH causes ovulation. While Lupron causes the pituitary to cease LH secretion, in the first 1-2 days of Lupron use, there is a strong release of LH. It is this strong release of LH that makes Lupron great as an hCG substitute for the trigger shot. The quick surge results in a very short blast of LH, which could take place over 1-2 hours. This is very similar to the body’s LH surge that takes place in a natural cycle. After that, the LH has left the system, ovulation occurs 36 hours later, and ovarian stimulation stops. hCG, on the other hand, stays in the body for days, even up to 2 weeks. All of this time, hCG stimulates and stimulates the ovaries, which is too much for ovaries that have released many eggs.

So, why give an hCG instead of a LH injection? For IUI and IVF, hCG is often used as opposed to LH because hCG is easier to make and cheaper than LH, and hCG works just as well. The molecules of hcg and LH are very similar and act in similar ways.

One down side to lupron is that, in very small percentage of cases, it may not cause ovulation. This is a rare occurrence and is more likely to happen in women who are hypothalamic, i.e. they do not get regular ovulation due to exercise, dieting or some other factor. In these cases, there is no LH in the pituitary for Lupron to trigger.

Another detail of Lupron use as a trigger is that for luteal support, progesterone and estrogen are supplemented. The ovaries just shut down after Lupron use, and therefore estrogen and progesterone are produced in very low quantities. Typically progesterone is prescribed post IVF, and when using Lupron, estrogen is also prescribed. Daily, I will inject PIO (progesterone in oil) in my butt. The estrogen is simply a pill taken orally twice per day. I used PIO after my IVF, but I've never used Estrace (estrogen).

I feel good about this cycle again as I've said all along that you can't do the same thing over and over and expect different results. Changing things up this cycle leaves me with renewed hope.

As for the risk of multiples, we will cross that bridge if and when we get there. Right now we have our hopes set on this cycle working and resulting in a viable pregnancy, and ultimately, a take home baby.


Saturday, August 4, 2012

Coasting...

At my ultrasound this morning, 30 follicles measured between 12 and 15. The right side had 16, and the left 14. (For comparison - in my IVF cycle in January, we only had 12 total eggs retrieved.) 30 follicles is too many for an IUI cycle. Even taking into consideration that I don't have a left tube, 16 follicles on the right is still too many to risk IUI. The doctor is "coasting" me tonight, which means I am to take NO medication. I go back in the morning for bloodwork and ultrasound. (I've read online that coasting for more than 1-2 days can negatively impact egg quality. I've also read that coasting does not decrease chances of implantation occurring.) I will talk more with the doctor tomorrow morning about what he thinks we should do. Cancel? Convert to IVF? Coast another day and see if we can pull off an IUI?

I am feeling pain from having so many follicles. It pretty much hurts when I breathe, laugh, cough and move. As always, I will endure all of this if it means having a chance at pregnancy. As I have so many times before, I am hoping and praying this works out. I've worked so hard to get to this point and waited so long....

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Headaches and prenatals....

Tonight was the third night of 4 vials of Bravelle, and I've had headaches the past two evenings. I remember the first month I was on injectables, I had headaches in the evening. It's a small price to pay...

Some of you may remember back in December/January I started pooping out my prenatal. I had to switch prenatals (I have a prescription one since my insurance covers it), but continued to poop out the old ones. Well, 7 months and a colonoscopy later, I'm STILL pooping the old ones out. The only conclusion I can come to is that they are lodged in my small intestine. The gastroenterologist doesn't seem concerned, so I guess I shouldn't be either.

Regardless, I began to read about prenatal vitamins today. I wondered how much of the different vitamins/minerals they should contain. From what I've read, a prenatal should have a minimum of 400mcgf of folic acid. Mine has 100mcg. Why would a company manufacture a prenatal vitamin that doesn't meet the recommended standard? AND, the brand I am on has the March of Dimes stamp of approval on the box!

From the March of Dimes website:

"Since nearly half of all pregnancies in the United States are unplanned, it's important that all women of childbearing age (even if they're not trying to get pregnant) get at least 400 micrograms of folic acid every day. Take a multivitamin with folic acid before pregnancy. During pregnancy, switch to a prenatal vitamin, which should have 600 micrograms of folic acid."

Not to mention, my prenatal was sub-standard in most areas (iron, zinc, calcium, etc.). So, I've spent the better part of today researching prenatal vitamins and DHA. I was considering trying a powdered prenatal but it cost more than I wanted to spend. So I found a prenatal that meets the recommended requirements of a prenatal. I also ordered some Fish Oil with DHA and EPA. I feel better having educated myself more about prenatal vitamins. Who knew there was so much to know? Shame on me I guess for assuming that something a doctor prescribed would have what I need in it.

Anyhow, tomorrow morning I go for bloodwork. I should find out tomorrow afternoon when my first ultrasound will be. I just am hoping and praying that my right ovary is growing some beautiful follicles! One of my students gave me a gift certificate for the spa....and I cannot wait to get my massage tomorrow morning! It has been forever since I've had one.


Thursday, July 26, 2012

All aboard the CRAZY train!!

It is no secret that I haven't blogged much since my failed IVF in January. While I would share about my weight loss journey, I did not do so with the same passion I did when I was TTC (trying to conceive). That makes me sad, especially seeing as though I have been so extremely passionate about losing weight. I realized that my blog is just as much for me as it is for my readers. It is a place for me to document my journey, complete with highs and lows, and a place for me to reflect and regroup when my paths and priorities change. Please don't misunderstand me, achieving a viable pregnancy and bringing home a healthy baby has always been my/our main priority. However, I felt that losing weight at this point in time was necessary for me to ultimately achieve that goal.

Being down 50 pounds is an achievement I am extremely proud of. While I still have weight to lose, I can no longer deny my inner desire/passion to resume TTC. Being down 50 pounds and having had four perfect 28-day cycles in a row (this one was 30 days, which is still considered normal), we figured we were in a much better position to resume TTC. My husband and I have talked about it at length, and have decided on a path to move forward.

My cycle began Wednesday morning. Tomorrow, on day 3, I will go for bloodwork and an ultrasound at 8am. In the evening, if given the go ahead, I will begin injectable meds for an IUI cycle. My insurance will cover three rounds of injectable medications. Also, I have enough medication at home for additional rounds or an IVF cycle if we end up going that route again. Our current plan includes exhausting the three injectable/IUI rounds the insurance will cover.

The second part of our plan includes a consult appointment with Strong Fertility in Rochester, NY. It is about an hour away from us. I made an appointment for October (first available), and am also on the wait list in case someone cancels or something opens up. We want them to review our case and see what they feel is the best path moving forward. If it includes IVF, we will have to wait a little while to save up for it. But, we would consider doing the cycle there if they feel something could be done differently. We just don't understand why we were told our embryos were beautiful and perfect, yet 4 of them were thrown away in the end and not able to be frozen. I know the quality has to be excellent to be frozen, but we just feel like we were fed a line of crap. Clearly everything didn't go perfectly. We did not achieve pregnancy.

Obviously, I am hoping and praying that one of these next couple of IUI cycles in Buffalo results in pregnancy. A viable pregnancy. Unlike the chemical pregnancy last September that resulted from an injectable IUI cycle.

So that is our plan. Between our upcoming injectable/IUI cycles and our consult in Rochester, we are hoping to be sharing some good news soon! It feels weird to be starting a cycle tomorrow, yet at the same time it feels like I'm finally coming home after being gone for many months. It is hard to put my feelings into words right now...I feel like the world has tried to break me, but I've persevered and will come out on top!

You Have Brains in Your Head Inspirational poster for Dorm Room Decor, Classroom Decoration, Cubicle Decor

Colette via Etsy.com

Friday, July 6, 2012

Where do I start?

I'm so sorry I've been absent from the blog for over a month. Life just has this way of getting in the way of the things we want to do sometimes! I'm sad that I wasn't more diligent in blogging as now you won't get all the details of some really cool happenings over the past month in my life. The Color Run, my weight loss, and a trip to Florida!


On June 12th, I hit 50 pounds! If you recall, I had set a goal to lose 50 pounds prior to running The Color Run on June 16th! And I did it! I lost 2.8 that week to lose 50 exactly! Needless to say, I was emotional and very proud of my accomplishments.

On Friday June 15th, I drove to Cleveland, OH with my dear friend Kym to run the race. Both of us are suffering from feet issues, but we did it anyway. We ran the 5K in 30 minutes! It was such an amazing experience. About half way through, I told Kym to talk to me. I was feeling defeated and like I couldn't go on. She gave me the best pep talk that kept me going to the end. As did my friend Sherri the morning of the race via a text message. My post on FB that morning reflected Sherri's message -


"Race day is finally here after months of patiently/anxiously waiting. Today is the day I prove to myself I can do anything I set my mind to. Today is the day I think about all I've accomplished in 6 months time and I leave the old Jen behind as I cross the finish line. I will leave behind all the doubt I've ever had in myself, all my insecurities, pain and disappointment I've faced. Today, I celebrate the new (and slightly improved) Jen."


Kym and I at the start of the race. Still clean.

Kym and I at the end of the race. Two dirty girls!

 
So, what does a girl who meets her goals do? She finishes up the school year and that same evening hops on a plane to Florida! I spent 9 days in Florida with amazing friends. I could go on and on about the amazing time I had, but I won't bore you with the details. I'm just so thankful and lucky to have such amazing friends who invite me on their family vacations. <3 ya Bitch!

I finished reading the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, and have moved on to Outlander. I miss Christian immensely, but am slowly falling in love with Jamie in Outlander. Outlander should last me the rest of the summer. There are 7 books, each 700+ pages. And, an 8th book is due out next year.

Now, to answer the question everyone is asking in their heads - how did I do in Florida in terms of weight control? Sadly, not well. I drank too much (and I'm not talking water!), ate all the wrong foods, and didn't exercise. I came home, and hopped on the scale first thing the next morning. The dreaded scale showed a 10 pound gain. 10 FRIGGING POUNDS. I almost died. (Although, as of this morning, I was down 4 of the 10 pounds.) You would think that would be the motivation I needed to get my ass back in gear. Sadly, it wasn't really. I've been very lax this week. I haven't exercised, haven't drank enough water, and haven't been eating in routine like I was. Tomorrow is the Taste of Buffalo and we always go to celebrate our anniversary (Monday is our 8 year wedding anniversary). Saturday night I have a party. And Sunday I am going to an Art Festival and then to see a band play near the lake. It is not going to be a "good" weekend in terms of food. While I hate when people use events as excuses to "fall off the wagon", I am doing just that. While I will be more careful of my choices this weekend, I am not going to recommit knowing I will feel guilty and not enjoy myself. Therefore, I'm publicly declaring my intent to recommit to my plan Monday morning. Exercise, healthy food choices, ample water and determination.

Because of my foot, I am unable to participate in the summer running program per my podiatrist. So look for me on the elliptical, on my bike or in the pool! I will also resume my weight training program Monday. I plan on upping my cardio during the summer. I plan on doing 4-5 days of cardio with 3 days of weight training. My new gym finally opened June 15th, and after anxiously awaiting the opening for over a month, I haven't been there yet! But, Monday is my new beginning!


One last picture - fresh garden peas we just picked today. Yes, that is my comforter in the background. Our bedroom is the only air conditioned room in the house, and it is 90+ degrees today. Where better to shuck peas?!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The taste of success...

At tonight's weigh-in, I was down 4.6 pounds. That puts me at a total of 47.2 pounds lost! I'm so close to my goal of 50 pounds lost by the end of June, I can taste it. And success sure does taste good!

I need to do something I've been avoiding since starting this journey - take a progress picture. I also need to take my measurements again. I've always been self-conscious and hated being in pictures. I am usually the one behind the camera simply so that I can avoid being in front of it. But, I need to suck it up and take the damn picture.

Today, I hit the gym and did 40 intense minutes on the elliptical. While my food choices weren't the best today (too few fruits and veggies, not enough dairy), I did stay within my allotted points.

Tomorrow is my new leg workout. I'm already dreading it. I know how bad my legs will hurt when I am done. And tomorrow night I have yoga, which will help to stretch out those tired leg muscles!

8:18 and I'm ready for bed. Am I lame for going to bed while it is still light out?! Yes, surely I am.